Sunday, 25 December 2011

Footage From My Horror Film! Merry X mas!

I've been talking about it for so long, I wonder if people doubted whether i was actually making any real progress with the film, so it is with both joy and trepidation that I have premiered some footage from my horror film 'Beautiful' on YouTube this Christmas day! It's nerve wracking as I'm unsure how people will respond to it, if at all. Also, unlike previous YouTube videos, I've shared this one quite openly with friends and family. But, most of all, it is rather exciting!

To accompany this preview, I have also posted an update video, as you can see below. Enjoy, and a very Merry Christmas to you all!

Tuesday, 13 December 2011

On Not Becoming an Arsehole

It's funny how easy it is to become something you don't want to be. The impatient, self- centered arsehole director is a stereotype we are all familiar with and the idea of transforming into such an egotist is not at all appealing to any of us- unless you're the kind of person who admires contestants on The Apprentice.

A week or so ago I discovered that, after a frustrating time of trying to coordinate filming days at a distance, the one date I'd set was going to have to be cancelled because of an actor's personal circumstances.

I was furious! I literally felt my heart racing. Partly this was because it meant that two weeks of annual leave and a return to Birmingham would result in no substantial scenes being filmed- something that felt a dreadful waste of opportunity.

On a deeper level it made me question whether this horror film was merely a silly dream and that the idea of completing it was completely unrealistic. The fatalist in me wanted to give up there and then. I also didn't like the idea that I was the only person invested in this film project- I didn't want scheduling filming dates to feel like I was dragging children to the dentist.

So I did something very silly and threw my toys out of the pram. Text messages along the lines of 'Oh don't worry about filming dates, I can't go through this again' were sent and locations cancelled. There was also a lot of muttering of 'Fuck them.' And I cried. I'm not painting a very pretty picture of myself am I ?

What a difference a good night's sleep makes. By the next morning the anger had subsided and there was a real urge to put things right- a hope that I hadn't burnt bridges. I suppose I was struck by the realisation that, in being insistent that one day of filming took place,I had jeopardised the whole film. That was frightening.

Thankfully it would appear I have friends far more understanding than I deserve, and apology texts were greeted with humour along the lines of 'everyone creative has to have at least one diva strop.' And (all going well) Christmas filming may go ahead yet.

Imagine if I'd been working with more delicate people? It could all have been over, all because of one moment during which I'd decided to throw my toys out of the pram. That's a frightening thought. I don't want my blog entries to sound too 'Moral of the Day' but there's something to be said about the value of taking into account perspectives other than my own. An acknowledgement that the film isn't the centre of other peoples' world, and that their lives go on in the absence of myself and my camera. On the flip side, not being able to make a day of filming does not mean the film means nothing at all to people. Perhaps I've identified a tendency to see thing in absolutes- very black or white.

The unspoken dangers of party inflatables.
So yes, it would appear avoiding becoming an arsehole may be about monitoring the small slip-ups rather than merely holding a sense if ourselves as fundamentally nice people. It could happen, almost invisible in its process, to any one of us.

On a lighter note, I hope i'm able to actually hold the camera come filming day, because of a rather unfortunate twisted thumb. All courtesy of not being cautious of my activity on an inflatable during our Christmas party at work. I'm sure I can see the Milky Way in my bruise. Wish me luck!